Well, it took a while, but here it is---my first post!
I have an awful lot that I want to talk about; a lot I want to write on here and get out of my head and off of my chest. Now is not that time, however. I will reveal it all and air it all out in time, through many posts, I am sure...so stay tuned! :-)
Right now, I am pretty content with where I am at in my life. I feel that this year, 2011, will bring me much closer to myself, and much closer to being completely content with every aspect in my life. I started this year with a much more optimistic outlook than I have in years. It was mostly due to a conversation with Clarissa right before Christmas. The conversation wasn't bad, but it was a tear-jerker and definitely made me reflect on multiple aspects of my life. Mostly, it made me pick my head up and look at my current surroundings. Until that point, I hadn't realized exactly where I was. In fact, I was very saddened to find myself so far down such a dark and lonely path. I wasn't so far gone that I couldn't see the light behind me, but it was definitely dimming. I know there were times I was most certainly running down that path, there were times I was standing still, and there were times I was just walking, but always alone. After talking with Clarissa, I finally turned around. I looked back at the light I had walked away from many years ago, and saw a few figures standing in the light. They looked very small, but they were calling out to me and waving me back. And I started walking back.
I know it is an uphill climb. There will be times I am able to sprint a little back towards the light, times I have to walk, and times I have to take a break. Some days I will make it miles, some days I will only make it a few strides. And, I know there will be days that I slip and fall and end up a few steps back. Those are the days that I will need those I left back in the light to call my name louder and cheer me on harder. And I know they will. :-)
Some of my first steps so far have been: going to the gym at least 5 days a week, saving money, avoiding my usual haunts (for the most part...there have been one or two days since the 1st...but it's drastically reduced from how often we were going before Christmas), cutting back on the alcohol consumption (again, for the most part...there were two days I can think of...much better than I had been), and finding some new hobbies--Josh and I are enjoying new restaurants, working on a house, and exploring our hometown area to find places we have never been before.
The thing I feel best about is the renewed exercise program I am doing. I used to love running, and I am finding that love again. I enjoy going to the YMCA every day after work and sweating my ass off! I love riding the bikes, running on the treadmill, and doing Zumba twice a week. I feel so much better about myself each day I complete a strenuous workout. And there are so many plus sides to the exercise!!! I do not feel like drinking at night after a good workout---I only crave water and more water! I sleep better. I wake up more refreshed. My jeans (hell, all my clothes) fit me better. I eat better. And, parts of my body don't jiggle when walking up and down stairs anymore!!! Since starting to work out right before Thanksgiving, I have lost 6.5 lbs. I have a long way to go to reach my goal weight, but I feel fantastic so far!! :-)
Well, I think that's all for now...tonight will be a shortened workout at the Y, as Josh and I have dinner reservations at the Bayfront Grille. I'm excited to try yet another new restaurant!
Till next time...which won't be so long in the making...;-)
